Through All of It

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Yesterday I sat at work as I got an email. . .an email that would completely stress me out. It was from my advisor. She mentioned how I had to study for and take educator exams in the next month.

These are not just regular tests. . .they are the tests that determine whether or not I am allowed to continue getting my master’s in education, and ultimately whether or not I get my official teaching license.

At first, I was incredibly overwhelmed. I just finished a class. I thought my life might slow down for a bit, but I was wrong.

Not going to lie, I still am incredibly overwhelmed. . . and then I remember how I even got here. . .

This is a crazy wild story.

I graduated with an undergraduate degree in English and I always felt that I was supposed to get my master’s and become a teacher.

I mentioned this to one of my undergraduate professors, and she told me that my GPA was too low for me to get into graduate school and that I would only be hurting my students if I became a teacher.

So I believed that. . .

After college, I got a job working at a Christian school. Those kids there made me laugh every day, and made me want to become a teacher even more, but I still did not think I could get into graduate school.

I looked into several different schools, and eventually found one with a good program. . .but again I did not think I could get in.

I reached out to one of the advisors of the school to see if it was even worth applying, and she told me that several students get in who have low undergraduate GPA’s and she encouraged me to apply.

So on Christmas eve of 2019, I applied just to see if I would get in.

Sure enough, I got in. I still don’t even know how. . .there was only one problem. . .

I was a few credits short of being accepted into the program. I had to take several classes to catch up.

I was a few days late to meet the deadline to sign up for these classes, but my advisor worked with me to help me get in. I started these classes in September 2020. I had one goal. . .I had to somehow get enough credits to be accepted into the program by February.

I worked really really hard on these classes and got a 4.0 GPA, but then there was another problem. Even though I worked really hard, I was still a few credits short of being able to be accepted into the program.

I emailed my advisor and explained the situation and expected them to tell me to wait a year. . .however they told me that they could see that I was working really hard, and they let me into the program even though I was missing those credits.

There have been so many times in this program that God has helped me. I don’t have any explanation for any of that other than, God brought me here.

I have no doubt in my mind that God has called me into this graduate program. I do not think so many doors would have opened if it was not God.

That definitely does not mean it was easy, but God has always been there.

So now as I am facing these educator exams, I am wondering to myself, what will God do next? Will I be able to add this to the crazy story of grad school?

My Second Halloween

Photo by Monstera on Pexels.com

This post might be a little bit late, but I love Halloween and fall and getting to celebrate with my husband.

Last year was the first time I ever carved a pumpkin.

My husband made fun of me a little bit as I struggled to dig the knife into it.

But I think for the first pumpkin I ever carved it was not bad.

Why was last year the first time I carved a pumpkin?

Well growing up I was not allowed to participate in anything related to Halloween.

To be honest, now I do not understand why.

I never got to go trick or treating, (I asked my husband to take me and he said I was too old haha).

I was so separated from Halloween that I did not even realize that it was a holiday a lot of people celebrated.

The past two years, I have been “allowed” to celebrate this holiday, and it is so weird to me.

I feel like I missed out on a whole season.

My whole life I was told that if you went trick or treating, or carved a pumpkin, you were participating in sin.

Now I don’t think of myself as less of a Christian because I carved a pumpkin.

There were a lot of things that I was taught that I now question. I can’t find a passage in scripture that supports it, they are merely man-made standards.

Standards that leave you feeling not good enough for God, (because I will never meet all man-made standards). (Though there is nothing wrong with following these standards if you believe God called you to, and it brings you closer to God.)

My whole reality of God is almost completely based on man-made standards, which leaves me wondering who God is.